Top 10 Differences Between Cats & Dogs

1. Dogs come when you call them. Cats take a message and get back to you.
2. Dogs will let you give them a bath without taking out a contract on your life.
3. Dogs will bark to wake you up if the house is on fire. Cats will quietly sneak out the back door.
4. Dogs will bring you your slippers or the evening newspaper. Cats might bring you a dead mouse.
5. Dogs will play Frisbee with you all afternoon. Cats will take a three-hour nap.
6. Dogs will sit on the car seat next to you. Cats have to have their own private box or they will not go at all.
7. Dogs will greet you and lick your face when you come home from work. Cats will be mad that you went to work at all.
8. Dogs will sit, lie down, and heel on command. Cats will smirk and walk away.
9. Dogs will tilt their heads and listen whenever you talk. Cats will yawn and close their eyes.
10. Dogs will give you unconditional love forever. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you've ever made since the day you were born.

Cat Quotes

Cat: A pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs and patronizes human beings. - Oliver Herford

Some people say man is the most dangerous animal on the planet. Obviously those people have never met an angry cat. - Lillian Johnson

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose. - Garrison Keillor

If cats could talk, they would lie to you. - Rob Kopack

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Legal vs Moral

This article was taken from news24.co.za. Credit paid where credit is due!!!!!!
13/10/2008 09:07 - (SA)

Colleen Figg

Everyone knows the small print on service contracts is a means for the supplying company to wriggle out of certain obligations in the event of something going wrong.

Once you've passed the legal majority, signed your first contract and had a run-in when you have tried to cancel it because it is not providing you with what was promised, you are unpleasantly familiar with the slippery slope that is a company's actual legal responsibility to you.

However, back in the dark ages when companies first became established there was a tacit acceptance on the part of the supplier that his legal obligation was not the only one he actually had to his customers.

There was the much more subtle, yet equally important, moral responsibility which has become something of a dirty word in today's money whoring business world.

A moral responsibility exists to fulfil a contract to, or understanding with, your client. Hence, if you recommend that he uses a certain kind of flooring that is absolutely intolerant of rainy conditions when he lives on a flood plain, you would have a moral obligation to replace his damaged floors after the first flood, at no charge.

Today's "businessmen" want no truck with such nonsense: you signed the contract, you promised to pay, now cough up - is it his fault you had rains for two weeks? Is he God? Quite clearly not, so fork over and shut up about it why don't you?

In fact had you read the terms of the contract you would have seen that he specifically exonerated himself from any obligation concerning flood damage! More fool you. Why don't you get with the programme?

A moral duty

The double whammy here is that not only are you shafted - almost literally and not in any pleasurable way - you are made to pay for the pleasure too! Unfortunately from a legal perspective the slimy conmen are quite right - it was on the contract and you did sign it.

The good news is that last week I discovered two gentlemen who do not fall into this morally reprehensible majority when I discovered that since I moved down here my wireless internet coverage does not work; well, I mean there is no coverage here.

The first few people I spoke droned on about contracts and legalities, fine print and signatures and would not let me upgrade my contract or change to another one.

But these two exceptional men realised they as supplier have a moral duty to me as a client, that far exceeds their legal liability and which may even outweigh the latter, in fact.

I'm not allowed to disclose any names at the moment, or any company names. Nothing has been resolved and they are still working to find a way around the situation that will help me, their client.

They are in constant contact with me via e-mail and phone, and the last thing one of them said to me today was that it completely defeats the object of his job to have an unhappy client who they could have helped if people were only interested in looking at a thing from a different angle.

Bravo, I say!

Strange Statements Made During Job Interviews

"Almost everyone is guilty of bad sexual conduct."

"I must admit that I am a pretty fair talker."

"I never get hungry."

"I know who is responsible for most of my troubles."

"If the pay was right, I'd travel with the carnival."

"I would have been more successful if nobody would have snitched on me."

"My legs are really hairy."

"I think I'm going to throw-up."

"At times I have the strong urge to do something harmful or shocking."

"I feel uneasy indoors."

"Sometimes I feel like smashing things."

"Women should not be allowed to drink in cocktail bars."

You might be in Education if

1. You believe the staff room should be equipped with a Valium salt lick.
2. You find humor in other people's stupidity.
3. You believe "shallow gene pool" should have it's own box on the report card.
4. When out in public, you feel the urge to snap your fingers at a child you do not know and correct their behavior.
5. When you mention "vegetables" you're not talking about a food group.
6. You think people should be required to get a government permit to reproduce.
7. You laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the "lounge".
8. You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.
9. You can't have children because there's no name you could give a child that wouldn't bring on high blood pressure the moment you heard it uttered.
10. You think caffeine should be available to staff in IV form.
11. You want to choke a person who says, "Oh, you must have such fun every day. This must be like playtime for you."
12. Meeting a child's parents instantly answers the question, "Why is this kid like this?"

Strange Celebrity Quotes

You can't stay married in a situation where you are afraid to go to sleep in case your wife might cut your throat. - Mike Tyson

The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy

There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl. - Joan Rivers

I'd rather be dead than singing "Satisfaction" when I'm forty-five. - Mick Jagger

It's a drag having to wear socks during matches, because the tan, like, stops at the ankles. I can never get my skin, like, color coordinated. - Monica Seles

Sometimes I feel like an old hooker. - Cher